Getting out of my own way

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It's been a while.

For months now, I've held myself back from sharing. Not because there wasn't anything to say...

Quite the opposite actually.

I just got caught up in my own head.

I had all these things I was telling myself:

If I write a blog, I need to make a vlog too.

If I film something, it needs a written version.

It got to the point where I believed (still kind of do) that if I wasn't doing both a blog and a vlog, it wasn't even worth posting.

It just feels like I'm not squeezing as much of the juice that I can get out of it if that makes sense.

The vlog part especially became a big sticking point.

For the breaking (breakdancing) part of the vlogs, I think it would be easy as I've started filming my practice sessions anyway and should just be naturally entertaining.

But filming workouts? I've seen others make it work and I'm just not sure how I can make that interesting in a way that works for me.

Because I wanted both blog and vlog to exist together, I started believing (and kind of still do) that if I wasn’t doing both, it wasn’t even worth posting.

So I gave myself the excuse that I’lL sHaRe OnCe I fIgUrE oUt A bEtTeR sYsTeM.

I also started questioning whether my life was even worth documenting.

It's just me on my laptop programming apps, working out, walking, and dancing for most days of the week. No one cares. Who wants to read or watch about that same thing every time?

All that stacked up.

It got me holding back and the things that I wanted to share too started to stack up.

The irony is that I know how important sharing is. One of my favourite books is Show Your Work by Austin Kleon.

The obvious is that putting my work out there on the internet gives it visibility.

But what isn't so obvious is that it actually helps me build it.

Sharing my work gamifies my progress and keeps me going.

Any feedback or suggestions I get (if I'm lucky) can shift or unlock something that would make the things I'm working on much better.

Plus, beyond all that, I know that sharing is necessary if I want to someday support myself through my own work and ideas.

And none of that will happen if I keep everything to myself.

So this is me getting out of my own way again.

Here’s what I’ve been holding in.

The projects. The wins. The struggles. The moments I kept putting off.

//habit tracking

I finally shipped a habit tracking feature in Doaily, which is something I've wanted since day one.

So far, it’s been encouraging to see people using it and the natural sign-up conversions that the app is getting.

While I think the end product turned out alright, I can’t help but wonder how much smoother the process and how much better the result could have been if I had shared and gotten ideas along the way.

That said, I've already been beating up my keyboard for a new feature that will allow you to plan upcoming days through a weekly and monthly view.

Here's an early look.

I'd love to hear your thoughts or ideas on this if you want to take the time :)

Either way, I'm excited to get this feature out there.

There's a lot more to work on, but every feature release makes me more and more comfortable in promoting the app as it becomes more and more useful.

//getting my way

Now, from building to breaking, I won my first-ever breaking 1v1 jam in Saskatoon! Then, somehow, I followed it up with another win the very next week in Edmonton.

The first win hit me harder than I showed at the time.

During the trip, a day drive with friends to Saskatoon and back, I kept it together.

Getting home, in my own space, was a different story.

I felt like I hugged younger me.

The younger me who carried the weight of being left out of practice sessions because people deemed I wasn't good enough to hang.

The younger me who just wasn't nurtured well by the breaking community at the time.

I have the specifics in a handy ever growing list of things that fire me up and I don't need to get into them.

But what I'm trying to say is that I got pretty emotional.

I get emotional now writing about it.

I’m grateful now to be part of a much better environment that actually feels supportive and like family.

Entering a crew versus crew jam (One for the City 5) recently with some of these people felt like another hug to younger me and that shit felt good.

Ooooo it feels good to finally get all of that out.

Funny how the stuff we sit on for weeks can pour out in minutes once we start.

If you’ve been stuck too, maybe this is your sign.

Here’s to moving forward.

– Renz